I ‘n’ I was fighting glaucoma with my bredrins Mike and Aqua Boy. I was laying out my Presidential strategy for taking down The Cheetolini in 2020:
With the JFK coup anniversary looming: Was it Bin Laden on the Grassy Knoll? Discuss!
But then the discussion took a turn. When baseball season is over, I ‘n’ I turn to a new time suck: Ancient Aliens on the History Channel.
I was talking about the documentary’s 2 hour tribute to Erich von Daniken, the Father of Ancient Astronaut Theory. His book, Chariots of the Gods, lit the fuse for a whole generation seeking a connection between ancient astronauts mis-labelled as Sky Gods by mankind.
I took to the alternative cosmology of Ancient Astronaut Theory late in life. But I should have been into it for 40 years….
I grew up in a small farming community in North Central Montana called Fort Benton. Beautiful little river city. We had a theater and a drive in. It was a short bike ride from my house to go see a movie to get out of the sun.
It was sometime, summer 1975. I was ten years old. The movie was Young Frankenstein: Mel Brooks, Marty Feldman and Teri Garr. But, in the lobby was something that really intrigued me: a whole display of cut outs, movie stills and placards describing Chariots of the Gods. The movie.
One of the stills described a picture in Ancient Assyria; my mother’s homeland in the Fertile Crescent. I was totally enthralled and could not wait to see it in two weeks!
The following week, the movie theater went out of business and became a farm implement manufacturing business. Cursed!
Wheel it forward to last weekend. I was regaling my mates, between bongrips and bourbon, of the story von Daniken described from the Bible: Ezekiel and the crystal ship. A wheel within a wheel.
Ezekiel 1:14-28. Ancient Astronaut Theory
14And the living creatures ran and returned as the appearance of a flash of lightning.
15 Now as I beheld the living creatures, behold one wheel upon the earth by the living creatures, with his four faces.
16 The appearance of the wheels and their work was like unto the colour of a beryl: and they four had one likeness: and their appearance and their work was as it were a wheel in the middle of a wheel.
17 When they went, they went upon their four sides: and they turned not when they went.
18 As for their rings, they were so high that they were dreadful; and their rings were full of eyes round about them four.
19 And when the living creatures went, the wheels went by them: and when the living creatures were lifted up from the earth, the wheels were lifted up.
20 Whithersoever the spirit was to go, they went, thither was their spirit to go; and the wheels were lifted up over against them: for the spirit of the living creature was in the wheels.
21 When those went, these went; and when those stood, these stood; and when those were lifted up from the earth, the wheels were lifted up over against them: for the spirit of the living creature was in the wheels.
22 And the likeness of the firmament upon the heads of the living creature was as the colour of the terrible crystal, stretched forth over their heads above.
23 And under the firmament were their wings straight, the one toward the other: every one had two, which covered on this side, and every one had two, which covered on that side, their bodies.
24 And when they went, I heard the noise of their wings, like the noise of great waters, as the voice of the Almighty, the voice of speech, as the noise of an host: when they stood, they let down their wings.
25 And there was a voice from the firmament that was over their heads, when they stood, and had let down their wings.
26 And above the firmament that was over their heads was the likeness of a throne, as the appearance of a sapphire stone: and upon the likeness of the throne was the likeness as the appearance of a man above upon it.
27 And I saw as the colour of amber, as the appearance of fire round about within it, from the appearance of his loins even upward, and from the appearance of his loins even downward, I saw as it were the appearance of fire, and it had brightness round about.
28 As the appearance of the bow that is in the cloud in the day of rain, so was the appearance of the brightness round about. This was the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the Lord. And when I saw it, I fell upon my face, and I heard a voice of one that spake.
That, my friends, is the description of nothing other than a space ship which travels by gyration, the wheel within a wheel!
<Ezekiel’s crystal ship>
My bredrin Aquaboy, who reads dinosaur media like the New York Times and The Nation magazine, was not having it. He was giving me the red eyed hairy eyeball.
So I’n’ I zone in on the kill shot: The Ancient Aliens episode devoted to Chariots of the Gods’ legacy talked about one of the original NASA scientists who thought von Daniken was a crank and set out to use physics to debunk the wheel within a wheel.
His name was Sidney Blumrich…
I ‘n’ I, who does not read the New York Times nor the Nation, never got to finish…Aquaboy was full on scoffing. I ‘n’ I held up my hand and calmly said,
“Your perception is not my reality.”
They’re here. They’ve always been here. And they’re coming! Scoffing won’t save you!
Bobbylon’s Top Ten Biblical Alien Encounters
- Moses and the burning bush – spaceship
- Ezekeiel and the Crystal Ship: the wheel within a wheel aka a gyroscopic spaceship
- Stairway to Heaven – walkway to a spaceship
- Enoch – Noah’s grandfather who walked with God and then was not
- Lot’s wife – turned into a pillar of smoke, not salt after Armageddon was destroyed in a nuclear attack
- The New Jerusalem – Borg cube massive space ship
- The Nephilim – Biblical giants describing the Anunnaki who created mankind and mated with their women
- Noah’s Flood (1) – Utnapishtim in a tessaract spaceship to wait for the flood waters to recede (Sumerian origin story)
- Noah’s Flood (2) – Ziusudra in a submarine to wait for the flood waters to recede (Sumerian origin story)
- Jacob’s Ladder – spaceship walkway (see #3)
How about some examples from Islam and Hinduism:
- Magic/flying carpets
- The Prophet Muhammad’s midnight journey to Heaven on the back of a winged horse Al-Buraq. Buraq means “lightning” in Arabic (one man space capsule)
- Descriptions of flaming minarets in the sky (missiles)
- Hindu Vimana’s: space chariots fighting battles
- Shiva’s Trident – missile
Smile Jamaica Ark-Ives: Jah-vember 16, 2019 Annotated Playlist: 73 sec.
- Mikey Dread – Voice of Jah; Dread at the Controls (Trojan) ’79 UK vinyl
- Aggrovators – Dread Locks in Jamaica (Attack) ’76 JA vinyl dub album of the hour
- Chachi feat. Sister Carol – Natty Dread; (Kariang) ’99 Ethiopian dawta cover Bob Marley
- Sister Carol – Natty Live Up; Lyrically Potent (Heartbeat) ’96 Bob Marley’s Natty Dread
- Jah Thomas – Tribute to the Reggae King; In Disco Style – Entertainment (Midnight Rock) ’81 Bob Marley tribute
- Sublime – Legalize It; Hempilation (Capricorn) ’96 Peter Tosh cover; 4:20 Cannabis Service Announcement
- Junior Murvin – Bad Weed; 12” (Upsetters) ’78 UK – Lee “Scratch” Perry prod’n; herbtune over Police & Thieves
- Zema – Joy in the Morning; Black Sleep (Melchizedek) 2003 Culver City, CA dawta
- Linton Kwesi Johnson – Sonny’s Lettah; a capella live (LKJ)
<UK sus laws against “vagrancy”; 28 sec.>
- The Eagles – Country Living; Reggae Classics (DCC) ‘73
- Tapper Zukie – Black Man 12”; I Can Hear the Children Singing (Blood & Fire) ’78 dj to Prince Alla
- Barry Brown – Release the Chains; 10” (Rockers) ’80 UK; Augustus Pablo prod’n
Set 3: Best of Smile Jamaica 30 Years
- Martha Velez – Get Up Stand Up; Escape From Babylon (Sire) ’76; Wailers cover
- Mighty Diamonds – Gnashing of Teeth; I Need a Roof (Hitbound) ‘76
- Junior Delgado – Armed Robbery; Brothers (DEB) ‘77
- Ranking Dillinger – African Worldwide; None Stop Disco Style (Abraham) ’77 dj to Johnny Clarke’s “African Roots
- Winston “King” Cole – Black Magic Woman; Impact! (Soul Jazz) 70’s Fleetwood Mac/Santana cover
- Hopeton Lewis – Dreadlocks Lewis; 7” (Thorough Bred) ’75 herbtune
- Black Harmony – Reasons; 12” (Cool Rockers) ’81 UK female lovers rock
- King Tubby Meets the African Brothers – Original Dub; In Dub (Nature Sounds) ’75 Dub Album of the Hour
Set 5: Vinyl is Vital
- Michael Rose – Born Free; Trojan Story (Trojan) 3 LP UK box set
- Tony Brown Band – Iration Song; Prisoners in Paradise (Mountain Railroad) ’81 Madison, WI
- Matumbi – Man in Me; Best of (Trojan) ’75 UK: Bob Dylan cover
- Kofi – Reggae Starship; Black…With Sugar (Ariwa) ‘89 UK roots dawta UFOria
Set 6: 7″ Jamaican Jukebox
- Aisha – Give a Little Love; 7” (Rockers International) 7” Jamaican Jukebox Set
- Richard Ace – Supernatural Thing; 7” (Clocktower) 70’s Ben E. King cover
- Madoo – Jamming So; 7” (Crazy Joe) ‘79
- The Lions – Roll It ‘Round’ 7” (Lions Bread) 2010 LA roots group*
- Sly & the Revolutionaires – Cocaine; Bill Laswell: Dub Massive Chapter One (Trojan) 2005 Dub Album of the Hour
Set 7: Wailers Family Tree
- Bob Marley & the Wailers feat. Bunny Wailer – Dreamland; Marley, Tosh, Livingston & Associates (Studio One) ’66 JA vinyl
<Dreamland – Bunny Wailer’s vision of heaven; 1 min. 23 sec.>
- Bunny Wailer – Natural Mystic; Hall of Fame (RAS) ’95: 50 Bob songs for Bob’s 50th birthday
- Peter Tosh – Get Up Stand Up; Wanted (bootleg) Sept. 29, 1981 at the Ritz, NYC
- Ziggy Marley – Live on Mars; Fly Rasta (Tuff Gong) 2013 UFOria
Set 8: UFOria
- Tena Stelin – Flying Saucers; 7” (Mascot) ’99 UFO-ria
- Unity – Stargazing; Heat Your Body Up (Virgin) ’83 UK
- Thievery Corporation feat. Sleepy Wonder – Stargazing; Culture of Fear (ESL) 2011
- Ancient Astronauts feat. Akua Naru – Last Night; Into Bass and Time (ESL) 2010 w/ female vox alien love song
- Rockers Hi-Fi – Dick From Outerspace; Rockers to Rockers (Gee Street) ’95 UK
- Spiritual Rez – Let’s Go Out With a Bang; Apocalypse Whenever (Spiritual Rez) 2014