Tag Archives: California

Smile Jamaica Seven Leaf Election Recap: 4 down, 46 to go!

Unknownus
Hemp, Hemp, Hooray! Seven Leaf on the rise in the USA!

Greetings,

Nov. 3, 2014: Two down, 48 to go!

Hey Democrats? How’s that lesser of two evils strategy working out?  Now we all get to work until the age of 70. If we can find work at all…

imagesel
A pity you donkeys didn’t go with Single Payer. All of this could have been avoided. Coulda, woulda, shoulda

On the other hand:

Very good day for the Marijuana Vote. 3 out of the 4 entities on the ballot won. (Florida needed 60% and got 57%; which is encouraging if they try for outright legalization rather than medical MJ in 2016).

My friends call me Nelstradamus* because my political predictions tend to come true. I predicted Obama would be the guy back when it Hillary and the Seven Dwarfs in 2008. I predicted Ukraine and Cold War II before the Winter Russian Olympics. No I will not pick your lottery numbers!

*Last name is Nelson

Let’s see how Smile Jamaica did on his Marijuana Picks: 3 out of 4.

<Smile Jamaica On Air Pot Prediction Nov. 1, 2014: #1>

<Smile Jamaica On Air Pot Prediction Nov. 1, 2014: #2>

Nov. 4: 2014:

1. Florida Medical Marijuana vote (Amendment 2); FAILED

Florida: Close but no cigar blunt

Florida: 57% yes/43% no

However, because of the nature of the vote as a Constitutional Amendment it needed 60%. Sheldon Adelson, Las Vegas casino magnate, bankrolled the “no’s”. Ironically, the elderly, who could benefit the most from the therapeutic usages of the Seven Leaf, broke no. The usual shibboleth of “medical mj is just a scam to get stoned” kept the measure from crossing the barrier.

Not sure what is next, but if they can finesse a statewide, full on legalization referendum that might only need 50% + 1, it could pass handily. Plus 15% (yes minus no) is encouraging for 2016: where higher (ha hah) turnout will bring more groups that sat out the mid terms: blacks, Hispanics, women, millennials and pretty much everyone else sick of Tweedledum vs. Tweedle Dee

Here is what I said the day before the vote regarding Florida:

Florida. Amendment 2. Medical Marijuana. Smile Jamaica says: No Chance. Needs 60% to pass. Peaked at 57% and has been trending further down.

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Close but no blunt. Go for the touchdown in 2016: Full Legalization and hope Obama’s lead weight anchor doesn’t kill the turnout. Good prospects in 2 years.

2. Oregon: Measure 91: Legalization; PASSED

55% yes/45% no.

A much better managed campaign as opposed to the failed vote in 2012. It is encouraging that a mid term vote can be so successful, with a ten point spread. Full out Collie-rado/Washington style legalization, taxation and regulation. Treat it just like alcohol. Result exceeded the polls even with core pro pot constituencies highly (no pun) disengaged by this midterm election.

Here is what I wrote prior to the vote:

Jah-regon: Measure 91. Legalization a la Collie-rado and Washington State. Smile Jamaica says: Most likely going to win. Latest polls are encouraging because of the gap between Yes (52%) and No (41%). Could be hurt if disaffected millennials don’t turn up for the midterm vote. Looks promising but not a lock per DC.

Yes on 91 Horizontal
Hey Jah-regon. Peter said to Legalize It so I could advertise it! Great job

3. Washington DC Initiative 71; PASSED

70% yes; 30% no. Emphatic yes. Now you can legally possess up to 2 ounces of cannabis and grow 3 plants. Will be interesting to see how the Feds try to keep it clamped down. But two thirds approval is hard to tamp down (pun intended) if we are still a citizen democracy.

Too bad America is an oligarchy.

Here is what I wrote the day before the vote:

 Washington DC: Not full legalization as in #1 and #2 but you can possess up to 2 ounces of cured bud and be able to grow six plants. Huge YES. Will probably cross over 60% yes. But it’s gonna be a nightmare.

So much of surrounding DC is federal jurisdiction. You don’t want to get busted with a stalk of sensi on Fedland. You’re gonna be under Heavy Manners. Plus in a likely ascendant Republican Congress, DC is going to probably face Congressional roadblocks to any semi-legal implementation.

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Finally living up to its founder’s “sage” advice to separate the male from the female hemp plants. George “Hemp Daddy” Washington.

4. Jah-laska: Ballot Measure 2: PASSED

52 yes/48 no

Jah-laska: Ballot Measure 2. Legalization a la Collie-rado and Washington State. Smile Jamaica says: Most likely not going to win

Here I what I said before the vote:

I have seen too many negative polls and only one outlier pro pot result that seemed too good to be true, so it seems suspect. 52% No to 48% Yes, but if millennials don’t show up for the midterm vote it will fall short. Should have waited until 2016 with more robust youth and libertarian turn out. Hope I’m wrong!

I was wrong! Way to go Jah-laska. Legal couch lock is better than booze during those long cold winters.

I assumed (you know what they say about assume? Makes an ass out of you and me) that a demoralized Progressive libertarian turnout combined with a grumpy motivated Tea Party libertarianism would make the YES come up just short. Nice little upset there!

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Jah-laskan Campfire: Canadian whiskey in your coffee and two legal spliffs to watch the Aurora Borealis

5. Guam: Yes! 56% affirm.

From the Kardashian Post

Guam Legalizes Medical Marijuana

A local Guamanian (?) government commission is now obligated to set up a program to administer and implement the medical marijuana apparatus for dispensaries and cards for those seeking relief from debilitating diseases like cancer, AIDS and glaucoma.

here’s what I said on this blog the day before the vote about Guam:

 Guam: Joaquin (KC) Concepcion II Compassionate Cannabis Use Act of 2013. Medical Marijuana and the creation of legal dispensaries.  Vote would ratify the legislation. Smile Jamaica says: I can’t find any reliable polls but its dependency to Federal jurisdiction makes any implementation difficult.

Guam
Island living just got a little bit better. The future Smile Jamaica Retirement Ark-Ive. Pain relief for neck arthritis playing high school football

2016 Legalization Predictions.

Nelstradamus Predicts:

What happens the next two years: Obama is a lame duck. The Republicans will rage about a thousand year majority. We 1%ers are about to get what they call in Reggae: Heavy Manners. We the sheeple are gonna be pissed off like 2008.

More and more of the elderly will be funneled into their mandated Obamacare Death Panels. Those who grew up thinking marijuana was the gate way drug to get white girls to sleep with minorities are going off to the next world in incrementally higher numbers from a diet too rich in cat food.

Unknown
Osterity: What you can afford after Grand Bargain cuts to Social Security, 2017

New voters who have no problem with weed whatsoever gonna start taking their place. Ryan and Jennifer are gonna be much more kind (pun intended) to the Seven Leaf than Fred and Ethel

The demographics should be ripe for a full court Legalization press.

These states should be able to successfully get full Collierado style legalization going. Let’s quit pussyfooting around with medical marijuana. Legalization, regulation and taxation. Once the government gets a tax in place, they get hooked on the green. Kasheesh. In the same way states never drop or lower their Sales Tax. O-sterity ahead. No stone (pun intended) left unturned as states scrounge for funds to try and make up the short fall.

Expect thin gruel from the feds in the next two years. States budgets are going to be meager. Marijuana sales receipts and cannabis tourism can make up for the Neoliberal beatdown coming our way.

West:

  • Collie-fornya is the big prize considering the success of Washington and Oregon. The 9th biggest economy in the World. If California legalizes the collie weed, it’s game over. Might as well just put forward a Federal Legalization bill.
  • Jah-waii: More lucrative potential than coffee. Imagine the tourism opportunities. Guam style mid 50’s yes
  • Arizona and New Mexico. Libertarian Arizona and more progressive New Mexico are prime states for building organic, local grass roots legalization. Both would be difficult but not impossible. New Mexico the more likely.
  • Jah-vada: I know that the casinos, who call the shots in a one industry state, hate the idea of legalization. They don’t want people flying in to Vegas, getting a $30 a night smoking hotel room so they can burn weed all weekend instead of hitting the strip clubs or slot machines. Rural areas should be encouraged by the hemp products potential.
  • Jah-tana. My home state with its libertarian bent is a long shot, but there is some energy building. Grassroots (pun intended) shoe leather via the college towns like Missoula and Bozeman would be the center of the effort. But you have to get Billings and the rural communities in the Eastern two thirds of the state. My mom would vote yes. My dad? As long as you don’t tax his Olympia Beer to pay for legalization, I could lobby him for a yes.

If those states voted yes, that would leave only the Mormon Triangle states of Utah, Wyoming and Idaho as bastions of No. I’m waiting to see what Colorado’s ski industry gains from legalization at the expense of Utah’s “stone age” (pun intended) mentality.

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Smile Jamaica’s Christmas/Solstice/Birthday Gift: 2016 Montana Legalizes It. From the Big Sky state to the Big High State. Selah!

Midwest:

The legalization movement has to branch out from the West. These states should have the mechanism to pass legalization

  • Wisconsin and Michigan should be successful with a well funded and articulated campaign. Illinois too. Lots of rural areas in these states but working the issues could overcome provincial prejudices.
  • Ohio and Minnesota have potential but need to start right now on the campaign.
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Michigan go for the Legalize It in 2016?

Northeast:

I fully expect these states to say yes to legalization: New Hempshire, Vermont and Maine. (I mean, Vermont means green for Jah’s sake!). Piggy back those efforts to rope in Delaware and Rhode Island.

If you can get New York, New Jah-sey and Jah-sylvania. It’s game over. Might as well make it easy on all 50 states.

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New Hempshire Legalize It in 2016?

South:

I full expect the South to successfully secede from the Union in the next two years. So why bother.

Unknown
Will the New Confederacy legalize the Collie when they secede in 2017?

So November 2016, I want to be able to say: 16 down, 34 to go!

Smile Jamaica’s 2016 Cannabis Legalization Predictions

  1. Colliefornya
  2. Jah-waii
  3. Jah-vada
  4. Jah-rizona
  5. New Jah-xico
  6. Jah-tana
  7. Jah-chigan
  8. Jah-sconsin
  9. Jah-linois
  10. New Hempshire
  11. Maine
  12. Jah-mont (Vermont)

bless, robt

georgewashington
So Hempdaddy Say: “Make the most of the Indian hemp seed, . . . and sow it everywhere!”

Go Giants!

Unknownps
Pablo Sandoval – Senor Octubre

Greetings,

<Even year magic: San Francisco Giants and the World Series>

The Smile Jamaica Ark-Ives Holy Trinity of Obsessions

  • Reggae and Dubwize
  • Green Bay Packers NFL
  • San Francisco Giants baseball
aaron-rodger-game-winner
Smile Jamaica’s second favorite green

Sunday Night conundrum: My two favorites are playing at the same time. Praise Jah for DVR. Packers versus Saints. So I’m watching the World Series live while I “chop up” the Smile Jamaica Jah-loween Monster Hash 3 Hour Blast.

World Series: Royals vs my Giants. Madison Bumgarner is the Royals nightmare. Three down, 1 to go!

***

bochy
Manager Bruce Bochy throwing the hairy eyeball against the weaksauce American League with their lame Designated Hitters. Fiya bun the DH!

Been a fan of both teams since I was in elementary school.  Suffered through decades of thin gruel till they started getting good with the sugar high (ha ha) of Barroid Bonds, the pre-perv Brett Favre era.

I got the dubble dose in 2010-2011. Giants finally broke through since they relocated from NYC to San Francisco in 1958. (I was so happy I bought a new car the day after they spanked the Rangers 4 games to 1).

Then when Brett Favre was showing his ding a ling to a bunch of gals, Aaron Rodgers beat the Pittsburgh Steelers 31-25 leading the Packers to victory in the Super Bowl.

Posey
From the San Francisco Chronicle, “Buster Posey said listening to the online Smile Jamaica Ark-Ives this past year helped raise his batting average 17 points over 2013.”

And after a roller coaster season, here comes the Giants again. However, I must admit. I grew up a Dodgers fan until something outrageous happened that made me hate Dodger Blue like Rastas hate pork chops.

Growing up in Fort Benton, Montana our family would pack up for two weeks every summer. Big old Ford Station wagon. My dad had to drive about 1250 miles each way. Back in the wooly days before MADD, he’d grab a sixer of Olympia beer and head out on the open road.

My grandfather lived in Turlock, Collie-fornya (home of Niners QB Colin Kapoernick) but if we were gonna check Disneyland and Knottsberry Farm, we would head for our relatives who lived in Hawthorne (home of the Beach Boys).

Probably through that connection I was a Dodgers fanatic. Here is what kind of fan I was: I won my age group’s Punt, Pass and Kick competition in Fort Benton. Rather than compete at the next level in Great Falls, I stayed home to watch the Dodgers play the Oakland A’s in the World Series.

Oct. 1974. The era of 3 channels; no VCR’s; no DVR’s.  The A’s spanked the Dodgers 4-1. I remember Dodger first basemen Bill Buckner being thrown out at home and I started crying. (9 years old.) I wasn’t a bit surprised he effed up that grounder to first as a Red Sock in 1986.

79-27Fr
Bill Buckner 12 years before immortal infamy as a Red Sock

Wheel it forward a few years. The old school Dodger manager, Walter Alston, retired. Tommy Lasorda took his place. Brash and Italian where Alston was serious and pensive. Lasorda might have been a paisan but he was Hollywood all the way.

Tommy Lasorda is the reason I became a Dodger hater and a life long San Francisco Giant fan. What happened? Tommy Lasorda committed the heinous crime of playing himself in a television episode of the 70’s crap TV show Fantasy Island. Mar. 28, 1978: That was an unforgivable sin.

MV5BMjY3NjA0MjAxMl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwMzAxOTU1MTE@._V1_SX640_SY720_
Fantsy Island Mar. 1978: Steve Garvey, Mr. Roarke (Ricardo Montalban), Dodger player, Sicilian ham actor/manager Tommy Lasorda. There is a thin line between love and hate

The next week the 1978 baseball season started. In order to be an anti-Dodger, the only play was to become a San Francisco Giants fan. 35+ years later whenever I see that camera hog Tommy Lasorda I throw the malocchio his way.

Go Giants!

bless, robt

att00413
Pre-Steroids Barry Bonds. Never won a World Series ring

July 20, 1969 Moonwalk “Neil Armstrong Submits”

Neil-Armstrong-on-the-Moon-in-1969
“Wow. I’m high!”

Greetings,

July 20, 1969. Mankind finally reached the boundaries of outerspace. The most amazing technological achievement of our species.

My Mesopotamian ancestors, the Anunnaki, must have been tremendously proud of us!

WIK_Tilglath-Pileser-III
The Anunnaki – Sons of the God Anu. “Those who come from the Heavens to the Earth”. From the 12th Planet Nibiru. Returning to Earth in 2800 AD. Look at his wristwatch!

I was 4 years old and vaguely remember watching this with my family. My Assyrian grandparents were in Montana with us visiting from Turlock, Colly-fornya. I remember them chattering away in Syriac in amazement with my mom. While my Anglo dad probably sat on the couch nursing an Olympia. (Which we called Owl Piss in high school.)

Smile Jamaica Jah-neology: Assyrian, German, Norwegian. Thus, I am Half Assed

My Grandfather Jibrael was my hero before Bob Marley. I moved to Utah from Montana to study the Middle East. Picked up a couple of degrees in Arabic and Middle East History at the University of Utah. Wanted to devote my life to settling the tribal war of brother killing brother. Took the Foreign Service exam.  I had one year to go: either work for the Government or go to Grad School in Collie-fornya.

I lost the plot during the first Gulf War. I did not want to be like James Bond and become a grungier version of a Neoliberal hitman. “Shaken not stirred?” More like,  “bongrip not rolled.”

james-bong
License to chill, dreadie!

Decided to stick around and devote my attention to Roots Reggae instead on Smile Jamaica. Take some time to consider my options.

While I was in the Middle East program, I met a variety of Muslims from around the World: Palestinians, Syrians, Malaysians, Iranians, Turks. Went to lots of parties and settled the world’s problems via awesome food choices.

One of these discussions I remember having was the rumor in the Muslim world that Neil Armstrong, the first man who walked on the Moon, was a Muslim.

180px-Neil_armstrong
Haji Neil Armstrong, “La ilaha ila Allah wa Muhammad rasul’llah”

Here is the Urban Legend:

There is no sound in outerspace. While Neil Armstrong was doing the original Moonwalk, he heard something he could not explain in his space helmet. It wasn’t radio static from Mission Control. It wasn’t random noise or gibberish but a language of vocabulary and sentences.

When Armstrong, an International hero, visited Cairo, Egypt, he  heard the Muezzin: The man who takes to the heights to call his fellow Muslims to prayer.

Neil was staggered. That is what he heard in space! He converted to Islam before he left Cairo.

Wikislam entry

astronaut-floating-in-space-stocktrek-images
In Space no one care hear you pray

I wrote to Cecil Adams of the Straight Dope .

He gave me the Hairy Eyeball. Never answered my query in his columns. Probably because I aced him out on a response on the Beatles’ “butcher block” cover of the albumYesterday and Today

BUTCHERED BEATLES ALBUMS

Dear Cecil:

In your discussion of the controversy over the “butcher cover” of the Beatles’ “Yesterday” … and Today [January 9], you mentioned that the design showing the moptops draped in raw cuts of meat and holding decapitated dolls was an attempt to satirize the vapid cover art of the time. But this isn’t really what the bloody motif was meant to represent. It was a protest by the Beatles directed at Capitol, their American record label. Capitol was in the habit of shaving tracks from the British LPs and hoarding them for another full album of “new” songs for American consumption in between “official” releases. The butcher cover was a statement against the greed of the American record label who “butchered” the Beatles’ artistic integrity for the sake of commerce. –Robert Nelson, Salt Lake City, Utah

Dear Robert:

Some people claim to have heard this explanation from John Lennon himself. Maybe they did, but if so it’s an explanation Lennon cooked up after the fact. As I explained before, the idea for the cover came from photographer Bob Whitaker, and the Beatles eagerly agreed to it. At the time Lennon reportedly said, “I especially pushed for it … just to break the image.” That it did. To quote my assistant Jane, who has a “peeled” copy of the stereo version of the album–that is, with the bland replacement cover photo peeled off: “Eww.”

butcher

Smile Jamaica 1; Straight Dope 0

***

When Neil applied to lead a Boy Scout troop there was a requirement that he describe his religious affiliation. He wrote deist. A true stoic hero of rare magnitude who eschewed political attempts to co-opt his celebrity and resented American Exceptionalism as the self appointed world’s policeman. He passed away in 2012.

Armstrong did, however, see UFO’s while in space. But that is fodder for a future post.

On a more optimistic Middle Eastern/space exploration note:

Since America and Russia squandered our scientific resources on Mutual Assured Nucelar Destruction, we as a people haven’t budged on space travel. The way I see it, we should have been space hopping and making Extra Terrestrial contact with our planetary neighbors in the decades since Neil and his mates took that “giant leap for mankind.”

Praise Anu, that our Emirati peers are going to re-boot planetary travel

United Arab Emirates taking a Magic Carpet Ride

bless, robt

p-dreadlocksoverearth-288x413
Revenge of the Anunnaki. “I am coming back in 786 years and you fools better get your crap together”

Day 12 Cannabis Service Month: Why 4/21 should be a National Holiday

420_date_calendar_print

Greetings,

The best writing and publishing in Utah happens to be by SLUG magazine. I have been reading them since back in the 80s when they featured “Serial Killer of the Month”.

About 5 years ago, this esteemed publication chose to interview yours truly about the 420 phenomenon.

420: 8 Minutes Too Late 

Wikipedia more or less confirms my notion that 420 wasn’t cop code or #s of chemical but more likely school lets out at 3:20 and the set meeting time was an hour later. Time to run home, grab your gear, hit the Sev and meet up to have a session in the garage or basement. Mission accomplished: take a hit of Visine and be home before Ma and Pa left the office at 5pm.

High Times, of course, memorialized the group of kids in San Rafael, Collie-fornya, who originally crafted the phrase and smoker’s “happyer hour” as far back as 1971. (San Rafael, near to one of my favorite Bay Area record stores that gave up the ghost in the digital music era: Mill Valley’s Village Music. Sigh.)

louispasteur

(Louis Pasteur Statue; San Rafael, Collie-fornya. Ground Zero for 420)

40 plus years later, here we are and April 20th is to weed heads what Presidents’ Day is for mattress sales. What better reason to get together for some “reasoning”?

And since 4/20 2014 falls on a Sunday, I imagine masses of people gathering after church for a day of passing the kutchie pon d’left hand side. The peak of partaking crescendos 20 minutes after 4pm. Done in time for 60 Minutes later that eve.

(Much like the mindset, “real men invade Iran”,  ardent Vipers start at 4:20 alright…AM!)

So with that in mind, what happens on any Holly-daze occasion? (Especially one that elicits the munchies.)

mj-restaurant1

Too much of everything: Salty snacks, Busch Lite (as opposed to bush a-light), high fructose corn poison and whatever else is in Twinkies and those delicious fruit pies at the Sev.

Those cat vomit nachos look like a winning idea in a state of cannabliss. An hour later? Not so much.

All that kicking the gong around leads to smoker’s cough, sugar coma, chronic (pun not intended) red eye, cotton mouth and sore ribs. Those of you celebrating “early & often” on  420 pay a bit of a price the next morning on 4/21. Am I right? Can I get an Amen?

<Soundbyte>

So the ace marketing team at the Smile Jamaica Ark-Ives has come up with a remedy to this shituation:

If I had a nickel for every time someone has told me that Obama should make 4/20 a National Holiday, I would be a…thousandaire.

Au contraire mon frère. Much like Superbowl Monday, you need the day after to recuperate.

So join us in the effort to make 4/21 a National Holiday. A day spent in recovery and reflection.

Look soon for this petition to wind its way through Change.org, MoveOn and the White House’s “We the People” petition website.

(Good luck on the last one from the most transparent Presidency never. NORML’s petition got over 70,000 signatures the most of any other submission. Hello? Hello? Is this thing on?

<Soundbyte>

Obama’s toke on Cannabis legalization is a lot like my Dad’s take on drinking when I was a youth, “Do as I say, not as I do!”

Barring a Federal Holiday effort, have any of you ever “burned” a sick leave day on 4/21? Hmmm.

bless, robt

Obama Smoking Pot 504