Greetings,

Smile Jamaica presents the award “Excellence in Kaya-tude” to Johnny Osbourne for his herb tune “Mushroom” off his album Fally Lover.

The crack staff at the Smile Jamaica Ark-ives is crafting a little award in the shape of a Golden Seven Leaf.

In the early 90’s  I worked with a guy from Iran named Amir at the University of Utah. When he learned I hosted a Reggae radio show, I offered to make him a Smile Jamaica Greatest Hits Mixtape. On actual tape. Cassettes.

Some people sing, some people sketch, some people write. I build custom Mixtapes. I put together a Best of the Rest of Motown for my sister and brother in law in Jah-buquerque. They were playing the disk –CDs. On actual aluminum byproduct composite — at a barbecue gathering. One of the guests liked the music so much she asked my sister Stacey, “What’s the title of this CD so I can buy a copy?”

I don’t remember what I put on the 90 minute cassette for Amir but the song that he remembered was Johnny Osbourne’s “Mushroom”

I was raving with two dawtas all night. Alright!                                       Everyone was feeling fine, feeling fine. Party time! 

The only thing the dawtas asking for all night. My gosh!                              Was a stalk of mushroom. What is that? My gosh! 

Don’t want no mushroom to go to my head                                                  Gimme the good sinsemilla instead 

Don’t pee in my garden. Ca’ mushroom will grow                                          Don’t pee in my garden. I don’t want your mushroom to grow       Sensimilla. That I want fe grow

 I don’t want no mushroom to go to my head                                                       Just give me the good sinsemilla. That’s better instead 

All she keep on asking for: mushroom all night long                                            All I had is a bump of sensi, right here in my hand 

Don’t smoke it. Don’t drink it                                                                                Smoke the sensi instead.                                                                                Mushroom ain’t good for your head 

So for 90 minutes of Roots, I got a Persian feast. I met Amir, his wife and daughter for dinner at their place. While having tea, Amir whispered something in Farsi to his 4 year old, Shiva. She busted out, “Don’t peeeeee in my gaaaarden or mushroooooom will groooooow!!!!”

This little songbird didn’t remember any other lyrics. But she gave a couple more spirited repeats as Amir and I laughed and her mom shot me the hairy eyeball.

But hey, at 4 years old? Makes sensi to me!

So way to go Johnny Osbourne for showing us little kids’ love of bodily fluids is universal. Or I-niversal

bless, robt

Heeeeeere’s Johnny!!….

<Johnny Osbourne – Mushroom; 3:40>